Can there be “common ground” on abortion? A personal tale.
"Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there."
My favorite verse from the 13th century Persian poet Rumi is the theme of a recent documentary, “Beyond the Politics of Life and Choice: A New Conversation about Abortion.”
My longtime friend Angie and I are featured in the film. We tell the story of what happened in our relationship when, after celebrating the news that we were expecting our first child around the same time, Angie learned that the fetus she was carrying had Trisome 18, a rare genetic disorder, and would likely live a very short time after birth. In spite of this devastating news, Angie, who is pro-life, decided to carry her pregnancy to term.
So what happens when dear friends with entirely different viewpoints on abortion are confronted with such stark reality?
In all honesty, we’re still trying to figure it out. But I can tell you that Angie’s and my conversations during those nine months (and beyond) are some of the most loving and sensitive interactions I’ve had with just about anyone. We grieved together, talked about life’s mysteries and what we thought labor might be like. I stand in awe of Angie’s inner strength and beauty. When her son Nathan died two days after he was born, I felt that our journey had led me to an inexplicable place of acceptance.
We’ve never brushed the topic of abortion aside, choosing instead to hear each other out with genuine respect and reserved judgment. And while we may never achieve “common ground,” I do believe that we’ve rested at times in Rumi’s field, beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing.
On a happy note, Angie and I got together last year to race in an all-women triathlon, bringing our families together for the occasion – with her three healthy children and my two boys.
Follow this link to see the study guide for the video.
